The Superhero Complex
by griggles
Summary: When Penny catches Sheldon secretly building an Iron Man suit, she convinces him that being a hero means more than wearing the costume. As Sheldon becomes the world's first real superhero, he and Penny grow closer over the secret they've been forced to share.


**So this is my first trip into the BBT world, but I've been watching a lot of it lately so I thought I'd give this a go, just a fun idea I had. Timing on this is unspecified, but before the season 6 finale. If anyone currently following the many Pitch Perfect stories I've stopped updating sees this and gets pissed... there's an explanation coming. I promise. I'm planning on getting back into the world in some capacity, whether it's with preexisting stories or new ones. Anyway, enjoy!**

* * *

It was a chilly Friday evening when Penny first discovered Sheldon's secret.

Let's not call it a secret. It's a bombshell. Almost literally. The sort of thing that would have surprised her more if it... you know... it wasn't Sheldon Cooper.

It's hard to blame a girl for curiosity, especially one as naturally nosy as this one. He should have gone to the movies with the guys. Or at least sat in the living room so as not to arouse suspicion. It was his fault, really. He shouldn't have been so damn secretive.

Penny was bored that night. Lonely, but she'd never admit it. She could certainly find a date, but ever since the breakup with Leonard she found the boy toys she tended to wrangle up less than desirable. Instead she decided to spend the evening at home. Well, Leonard's home, but she knew he was gone and decided to settle for the next best thing.

She considered her surroundings as she entered. She could easily draw Sheldon out by sitting in his spot. Or clinking some champagne glasses. A drink might be nice.

No. Well, maybe later. She decided to just cut out the middle man and knock on Sheldon's door.

Knock knock knock.

"Sheldon."

Knock knock knock.

"Sheldon."

Knick knock knock.

"Sheldon."

No response. Not even to his own signature knock, the sort of thing that would usually at least earn her a condescending comment or useless "fun" fact. She decided to open the door.

She's glad she decided against that drink. That might've convinced her that what she was seeing wasn't real. Frankly, she still wasn't convinced. Standing before her was something big, red, yellow and angry looking. It was made entirely of metal and looked like a robot. Sheldon stood behind it with a blow torch and a mask.

"Umm... Sheldon?" She asked, finally gaining his attention.

"Penny? What are you doing in here? This is my room! People can't be in my room!"

"Then why didn't you lock the door?"

"Because people know they can't be in my room!"

"Well maybe if they knew you were building robots they'd make an exception!"

"It's not a robot, really Penny I'd imagine even someone of your modest intellect would know what this is considering the popularity of its films."

"Films?"

Sheldon rolled his eyes in exasperation.

"_Iron Man_ Penny, it's Iron Man."

"You built an Iron Man?!"

Sheldon smacked his face with his palm.

"Not _an_ Iron Man Penny, just Iron Man. The armor. It's not a robot."

"THAT'S WHAT YOU'RE HARPING ON?"

"Well I suppose you'd probably like an explanation."

"Please, I'm all ears."

"Well it all started a few years ago when I declared to Leonard that with the proper training and start up capital I could be Batman."

"Obviously."

"Sarcasm?"

"Let's see where this goes."

"It occurred to me that most of the technology necessary to create a powered suit of armor was available to the public. Raw material could be purchased by anyone and a mind of my caliber is more than capable of creating the blueprints for such a project. The only thing that was missing was an arc reactor which could easily be replaced by a more conventional power source."

"Of course," Penny nodded along.

"I've spent the past two years slowly building this suit and I'm pleased to announce that it is finally almost complete. I just have a few more minor adjustments to make."

"So why haven't you told anyone about this Sheldon?" Penny asked, "You usually have such a... Sheldonian way of rubbing things in people's face. I mean you practically just built a super hero here."

"Well Penny, if you knew anything about superheroes, you'd know that most of them keep secret identities to protect their loved ones from their enemies."

"Sweetie you have plenty of enemies already."

"Sheldon Cooper has enemies, but Iron Man doesn't. Or at least he won't, as I have no intention of actually using the suit."

Now it was Penny's turn to smack her forehead.

"Let me get this straight: You spend two years of your life building this thing and you're not even gonna use it? Do you realize what you could do with this thing? You could help so many people, you could save lives. You just built the world's greatest action figure and you won't even let it out of the box!"

"Of course I won't let it out of the box! That ruins its value!"

"So you plan on selling this thing?"

"No, I was just proving a point."

"So what was the point then?"

"Of building the suit?"

"No, of keeping your damn toys in the box, of course the suit!"

"I already told you! To prove that I could!"

"But honey you haven't proven anything. Plenty of people can dress up in costumes. Not many people can actually call themselves super heroes."

"But Penny there are no superheroes in this world."

She took a deep breath. He did have her beat there. Penny clearly wasn't convincing Sheldon of anything. The only person who could do that was Sheldon himself."

"Sheldon you once told me that you subscribe to the many worlds theory in which there are an infinite number of Sheldons occupying an infinite number of worlds, correct?"

"Yes."

"Well then you agree that there is a world where Sheldon is a super hero?"

"I suppose."

"Well, why can't that world be this one?"

* * *

It's another three weeks before Sheldon takes his new toy out for a test drive. And even then it isn't without a bit of prodding.

"All I'm saying is that Peter Parker probably couldn't afford all of the spandex necessary to repair his constantly torn costume."

"What makes you so certain that spandex is expensive in the Marvel universe?"

"As the Marvel universe is based off of real life it stands to reason that the prices of their fabrics and fabric-related products would be roughly equivalent to ours," Sheldon says without an ounce of doubt.

"We interrupt your regularly scheduled programming to bring you this breaking news bulletin. A high-speed chase has broken out on the 405 Freeway as the police attempt to apprehend a suspect in a recent string of assaults."

Penny glanced across the room to see a completely apathetic Sheldon clearly more focused on his dinner than the story on the the television.

"Sheldon, can I have a word with you?"

"Ok."

He doesn't move. Of course he doesn't move.

"In private."

"Penny I hardly see anything you might want to discuss with me that cannot be said in front of the rest of our group."

"Just come on."

"Ok, but this had better be important."

The moment they're safely in Sheldon's room, she begins.

"So, aren't you going to do anything?"

"About what?"

"The car chase."

"No."

"Why?"

"It's pizza night."

"So."

"I don't fight crime on pizza night."

"Are you kidding?"

"I never kid."

"Sheldon!"

"Fine, just give me a minute to excuse myself from pizza night."

"That's more like it."

Sheldon follows Penny out to the living room. Once there, he can't find the proper words.

"Sheldon," Penny offers, attempting to help, "you don't look like you're feeling very well. Do you want to go lie down?"

"Yes! It would seem that I have fallen ill."

The guys exchange confused looks before coming to the joint conclusion that they just don't care enough to dig into this any further.

"Ok, feel better."

It's seven minutes and forty four seconds later when Iron Man makes his grand entrance. It happens almost too quickly for anyone to understand what they are seeing. Sheldon flies onto the scene. He picks the car up. He drops it on the side of the road. He rips off the doors and tears out the criminal so that the police can apprehend him. He flies away. Simple as that.

"Umm... what the hell just happened?" Leonard asks.

"Don't look at me dude," Raj says in complete shock.

"Did Raj just speak in front of Penny?" Howard asks, equally as surprised.

"We just saw a real life Iron Man who the hell cares about Penny?" Raj nearly shouts.

To which Penny smirks. The first real superhero in recorded history appears and she's more informed than the entire room of nerds who worship them.

* * *

It's only a day before Sheldon and Penny come to an understanding. Her duties are as follows:

- Penny is responsible for creating suitable excuses for Sheldon to leave social obligations in order to fight crime.

- Penny is responsible for safeguarding Sheldon's secret identity at all costs (which begins with installing a lock in his door).

- Penny is responsible for keeping up to date information on any potential criminal activities that may require Iron Man's intervention.

- Penny is responsible for running Iron Man's official fan website. She of course does so under a pseudonym.

- Penny is responsible for assisting Sheldon with any and all adjustments, alterations and upgrades to the Iron Man suit.

- Penny is responsible for providing any necessary assistance in the field should it not present a physical danger to herself or others.

- Penny is responsible for remotely operating the Iron Man suit should Sheldon ever find himself unable to. To this end she would be provided with a briefcase containing basic controls for the suit that would be enabled only if the active suit did not detect Sheldon's heartbeat.

- Penny is responsible for defeating Sheldon should his powers ever corrupt him.

All of this is spelled out in the Superhero Agreement. Penny is honestly less surprised at having to sign such a document than she is at Sheldon not having such an agreement prepared years in advance.

* * *

By the end of the week Iron Man is a national sensation.

Two car chases. A bank robbery. A train hijacking (to which a giddy Sheldon would later tell Penny he'd hoped to see more of). Even a few cats stuck in trees. "Real life Iron Man stops car chase" earns 6,409,121 hits on YouTube. By the end of the first day. Reporters scramble to follow him after each appearance, but Sheldon's well planned escape routes always allow him to evade the cameras and autograph seekers.

Some call it the crowning achievement of modern science, even going so far as to argue an anonymous Nobel Prize. Others call it an abomination, a souped-up vigilante upping the ante on what private citizens can and will do with technology. Not all citizens, they argue, have the moral compass of Iron Man. That is, if they believe in the nobility of his actions at all, which is debated as hotly as any aspect of the subject.

Some even consider it an act of God, a group to which Mary Cooper belongs.

"What does Shelly have to think about this RoboCop business anyway?" She asks Penny over the phone.

"He says he could've built a better one."

"Seems about right."

Unfortunately for Penny, mom duties fell under the miscellaneous category of the Superhero Agreement. As did "laundry", but luckily Sheldon was gracious enough to participate most of the time.

"Concentric circles Penny!"

"What difference does it make, I'm rubbing a blood stain off of red paint!"

"I will not be known as the unhygienic hero Penny!"

To which she smirks. His idiosyncrasies are actually kind of cute sometimes.

* * *

Several weeks pass before suspicion begins to arise.

"So I was thinking," Leonard announced at lunch in the cafeteria.

"Obviously," Sheldon condescended, "honestly Leonard even a menial experimental physicist such as yourself requires some basic cognitive function. Though why you felt the need to announce it is beyond me."

"I wasn't done," Leonard continued, annoyed, "Iron Man has only appeared in the Los Angeles area, and several times in Pasadena specifically."

"Obviously."

"It would take someone approximately as intelligent as Tony Stark to build the suit. He'd also have to have a pretty intimate knowledge of comic books. He would have to be fairly young and in good physical condition to use it."

"What are you insinuating Leonard?" Sheldon asked nervously.

"Well... what if he's really someone here at the university?"

"Don't be preposterous," Sheldon exclaimed.

"What's wrong with that theory? Only scientists here would be smart enough to do it."

"What about UCLA or USC?"

"Sheldon when we told you that UCLA's mascot was the Bruins you said that made sense because their professors were about as smart as the average bear," Howard retorts in his best Yogi accent.

"And it still supports my theory of it being a professor."

Sheldon was starting to panic. He slyly hit the button on his watch set up as an emergency contact system.

"What about a policeman?" he argued back, "they'd certainly fit the build physically, and the ideologies that come with both lines of duty are virtually identical."

"But where did he get the suit?"

"It could have been an anonymous donor, wealthy enough to have the suit built but not physically fit enough to use it himself."

"For all we know it's the army and they just don't want the rest of us to know," Raj opined, "Sheldon what do you think?"

Before Sheldon could answer his phone rang. Penny. Thank God for Penny.

"Excuse me gentlemen, I have to take this."

To which he shuffled out of the cafeteria at a pace that could only make his friends wonder just what was going on.

"They're catching on" he tells his confidante.

"Then we'll need an excuse."

"We could tell them we're lovers and have been keeping it a secret."

"Like they'd believe that excuse," she replies with a snort.

"Then come up with a better one!"

* * *

A better one comes. In fact, several of them do. Every day someone new is arrested for "aggressive vigilantism." Not a single one is charged. After all, there's never any evidence. That is unless someone else has been wearing a suit of armor to fight crime at night. Even Barry Kripke is questioned after he's spotted wearing an Iron Man T-shirt. When Penny scolds him for enjoying it he responds with a simple "he's obviously guilty of something."

She gives him a stern look.

"Sweetie you believe in the many worlds theory in which there are an infinite number of Sheldons occupying an infinite number of worlds, correct?"

"As we've discussed."

"Well then you agree that there's a world where you aren't a pompous ass?"

"I don't see what you're getting at."

"Why can't that world be this one?"

* * *

It's week four when a super villain emerges.

"_You don't know who I am._"

For the record, Sheldon is disappointed in his newest foe. For a man who calls himself The Mandarin he certainly doesn't hold up to his comic book counterpart. No super powers. He doesn't even have the rings. Heck, he's not even Chinese.

"_You don't know where I am._"

Apparently not close to home. Sure, there have been attacks in Kuwait and Iran, but nothing in the greater Iron Man area.

"_And you'll never see me coming._"

To which he snorts derisively.

"I could beat him with both hands magnetically forced behind my back," Sheldon grumbles, earning a light shove from Penny.

"Then why don't you?" She asked.

"Weren't you listening?" He retorts, "I don't know where he is. Apparently I'll never see him coming," that last bit earns him a punch on the arm.

"Don't underestimate your enemies!" She warns, "he's a threat, he is on TV after all."

"A short Hispanic man who trains misbehaved dogs is on TV too, that doesn't mean he's going to blow up a bridge."

To which she rolls her eyes.

* * *

"Sheldon are you ok?" Leonard asks with a mix genuine concern and cautious aggression.

"Of course, why would you ask?"

"You've just seemed... off. At least for the past month or so."

"Excuse me?"

"You've just been acting strangely. You walk with a limp half of the time, you've been much quieter than usual, you spend all of your free time with Penny. What's going on?"

"I..."

Before he could finish, the door swung open. Penny. Always Penny.

"Hey guys, what's up?"

"Penny has Sheldon seemed weird to you recently?"

"Weird how?"

"I don't know, it's like he's hiding something."

"Please Leonard, what would I possibly be hiding?"

"The hell if I know, maybe you're Iron Man" he responds sarcastically. The inflection is lost on Sheldon, a fact Penny is all too quick to realize.

"Yes Leonard, the man we once witnessed get knocked over by a pigeon's sudden movement has been fighting crime at night. How did you ever figure that out?"

Sheldon laughed nervously.

"I was joking, but something is going on here. You're the one who's been spending all of this time with him. You give me a reasonable explanation."

"Well since it's what you're obviously looking for, Sheldon and I have been sleeping together for the past four and a half weeks and the violent nature of my lovemaking has taken a physical toll on his body. Satisfied?"

To which he gives up in frustration and heads back to his bedroom.

"Thank you Penny," he offers freely and sincerely. A rare gift, one that she cherishes. Even after everything she'd done for him, Sheldon was never one for gratitude, much less affection. She smiles in return.

"You're welcome sweetie."

* * *

The Mandarin is not to trifled which, a fact Sheldon wished he would've known before responding to the villain's call to action.

"America, it's time for your first lesson. In 1945 your government dropped two atomic bombs on unsuspecting Japanese cities. You killed hundreds of thousands of innocent people, and now, I intend to do the same. I've armed two bombs on opposite ends of Southern California: One on top of the castle at Disneyland, the other behind the Hollywood sign. But unlike your government, I've decided to give you a chance to earn your survival. Iron Man: I'm giving you a 20-minute head start. Only you can defuse the bombs, if anyone else comes within 100 yards of either of them I will blow up both. Now let's see what a hero like yourself can really do."

20 minutes is plenty of time for Iron Man. He arrives at Bomb number one in only three minutes. Defusing it, however, is a different story. Though he knows what he's doing, it's not exactly a field in which he's experienced. It takes nine more to ensure that the bomb remains benign.

Five minutes and 20 seconds later, he's arrived at bomb number two, leaving him just under three minutes. Even for him, that's not enough time to defuse a bomb. It takes him seventy one seconds to devise a new plan. He would wait until exactly 43 seconds remained before detonation. He would then fly 61 feet off of the ground, enough space to ensure no earthly distractions, before throwing the bomb into the sky. Enough time to to get it a safe distance from the ground, not enough for the detonation to affect any planes that may or may not be flying in the area.

So, at the 43-second mark, Sheldon launches off of the ground and winds up. He releases the bomb at precisely 61-feet, expecting to wait a few seconds before taking in the fireworks. But mere moments after the throw, with easily 25 seconds left on the clock, the bomb detonates.

The force of the blast knocks Sheldon straight into the back of the giant white "H." It immediately falls back with him as the devastation surrounding him becomes evident. As his consciousness begins to fade, he hears the faint sound of an approaching crowd.

* * *

Penny watches Sheldon on TV, like she always does. Though she told him to stay humble, she had no real reason to be concerned for his safety. After all, he was Iron Man.

So she sat on her couch with a glass of white wine like always, fully expecting Sheldon's return by her second or third glass. The news cut back and forth between Sheldon, talking heads and updates on evacuations, all the while a ticking clock sitting in the corner of the screen.

She didn't really start to worry until he arrived at that second bomb. Two minutes and forty seconds left? Even for Sheldon that seemed an impossible task. And why was he just standing there. Was he thinking? Was there an alternative solution? As he took off into the air she had to believe there was. That moment of calm was quickly drowned in shock, followed by desperation. Sheldon was hurtling towards the Earth at a breakneck speed. He didn't show any signs of motion as he smashed into the giant Hollywood sign. His lifeless metal body lay staring at the dirt.

15 seconds passed. Still no movement. Panic quickly set in. She stared at the screen, mentally begging Sheldon to move, to twitch, to do _something_. She wanted to crumple onto the floor and cry. She would've too, were it not for that faint hope that he might get up. He had to get up. There had to be something she could do to help him. What would Sheldon do?

"The briefcase!" She shouted, silently cursing herself for the volume. She raced into her bedroom and pulled out the large, silver control panel. It was simple, with visually labeled buttons and a joystick. Sheldon had ensured that, in his words, "a monkey could use it, so you probably could too."

She stared at the panel, now flashing red with the word "operational." There had to be something she could use to get him out of there, and to do it quickly. Sooner or later those camera crews and fan girls were going to reach him, and when that happened there would be nothing she could do to protect his identity.

"The joystick?" She thought to herself, before quickly changing course, "no, controlling a potentially lifeless body would do more harm than good."

She stared at the buttons, wishing she'd been more thoroughly prepared for such a situation. The yellow column indicated an energy blast, the bullet would release the minigun on his right shoulder, the lightning bolt would send a mild shock to whoever was wearing the suit. She spent a few seconds staring at the bolt while her mind pieced it all together. Ideally, the shock could wake him up.

She quickly pressed the shock button. After a few more moments, she did it again, just to be safe, before closing the case and racing back into the living room. Sheldon was gone. Without a trace. His body was there, now it was gone. In her grief, she assumed the worst. Someone must have found him. This time, she really did crumple to the floor.

The tears came quickly and heavily. At first it was shock. What started as Sheldon's dumb pride was now ending in... God knows what. Then it was guilt. She was the one who made him do it. She was the one who told him that being a hero meant more than wearing the costume. This was her fault.

But what hurt the most was the pure, unfiltered grief. There was a very real chance that Sheldon, _her_ Sheldon, was dead. All else aside, no matter how they'd gotten there, that was a reality Penny could not face. Only a faint sound could rouse her from her depression.

Knock knock knock.

"Penny."

That couldn't be what she thought it was...

Knock knock knock.

"Penny."

There's no way...

Knock knock knock.

"Penny."

She raced to the door. Standing before her was a robot with a human head. Sheldon, no helmet and very much alive, somehow saw fit to stand in the middle of the hallway of an apartment building with nothing protecting his identity.

"Help."

He staggered forward a few steps before falling to his knees. Penny closed the door behind him and followed him to the ground.

"Button. Left side, calf," he barely managed to get out. She quickly obeyed, and the beaten metal quickly spat out the barely conscious man inside.

"Sheldon we need to get you to the hospital."

"No. No broken bones, no internal bleeding. I just need rest."

"Sheldon I just saw you get slammed into the Hollywood sign!"

"Wearing a suit of armor! Please, just take me to bed."

Reluctantly, she agreed, carrying his limp form into her bedroom and carefully placing him onto her mattress.

"Do you have a first aid kit?"

"Yea it's in the bathroom let me get it."

When she returned to patch him up she finally had an opportunity to take in just how damaged Sheldon looked. A large cut on his forehead ran slightly past the eyebrow. Bruises adorned almost the entirety of his arms—at least the parts that were showing—and would only get worse over the next few days. She checked his eyes to ensure he wasn't concussed, but that seemed to be the only good news. He wasn't going anywhere for at least a week.

"Penny?" Sheldon asked, just as she finished cleaning up one of his final cuts, "sing Soft Kitty for me."

She smiled.

"Soft Kitty is for when you're sick."

"Almost killed in a fiery explosion is a kind of sick."

Her smile turned into a light chuckle.

"Soft kitty, warm kitty, little ball of fur,

Happy kitty, sleepy kitty, pur, pur, pur."

His childish grin was heartbreaking. Penny broke into tears.

"You almost died. And it would've been my fault."

"You also saved my life."

"I just pushed the shock button. The button that you built. You're the one who risked your life tonight. You're the one who saved all of those people."

"Because that's what a hero does."

"You really are a hero Sheldon," she gets out through the tears, "you really are."

She's not quite sure what came over her after that. It might've been the relief, it might've been a realization, but when she moves in to kiss him she can't help but think it's what's been bubbling just beneath the surface all along.

He doesn't scream when their lips meet. Nor does he push her away, vaporize her with some sort of secret weapon or really reject her in any way. But he doesn't quite accept her either. After a few moments he slowly pulls away.

"Penny... you can't..."

"I can't what?"

"I don't... I mean..."

"You don't what Sheldon? You don't kiss women? You don't do romance? You don't feel anything? What's the problem here Sheldon? Give me something to work with, because most men wouldn't be complaining in this situation."

"Penny you know that whatever... whatever you feel for me I can't ever reciprocate."

"Can't, or won't?"

"Can't... I just... you know me."

To which she takes a deep breath.

"Sheldon you once told me that you subscribe to the many worlds theory in which there are an infinite number of Sheldons occupying an infinite number of worlds, correct?"

"Yes but Penny-"

"Well then, you agree that there is a world where Sheldon loves Penny."

"Technically I-"

"Well," she breathes desperately, "why can't that world be this one?"

To which he doesn't respond, but certainly doesn't object when her lips meet his for a second time.

* * *

Even beaten nearly to death, he still sleeps like a paralyzed praying mantis. There's no sex after the kiss. Nor is there even any cuddling. For once, Penny holds her libido in check to give Sheldon a chance to rest. He needs it, and frankly, so does she.

A kiss with Sheldon Cooper? Scratch that, two kisses with Sheldon Cooper? She wasn't being held hostage. She didn't do it on a bet. Entirely of her own accord she locked lips with a man she once suspected of being an alien. And frankly, it wasn't half bad.

Not that she expected any less. After all, near-death romance really is the best kind. The only thing that could have added to the moment would have been rain. And maybe if he were upside down. So she has a Spiderman fetish, every girl does. At least she's not too far off. That is, if healthy Sheldon doesn't wake up and run away. Reasonably she places the odds at 50-50. A few hours on her couch knocks them down to 70-30. By the time she wakes up from the few minutes of sleep she managed to steal on her couch, she's convinced that he's running away to Siberia.

She doesn't notice him standing behind the couch. He's there for several minutes. He's apparently as confused as she is.

"Penny?" he whispers, to which she lies still.

"Penny?" he whispers once again.

"Yes?"

To which he looks visibly uncomfortable. She rolls her eyes.

"Fine."

"Penny?" He asks again with a slight grin.

"Yes Sheldon?"

"We should probably discuss what happened last night."

"Ok, discuss."

"Your hallways are not properly lit for late-night trips to the bathroom and I-"

"Are you freaking kidding me?"

Another grin.

"Bazinga."

"Not off to a great start here champ."

"Well it's not like I know how these things typically go. Do I make you breakfast? Do I leave you money on the counter?"

"Sheldon I am not a prostitute, and if you ever spend a night with one that only gives you two kisses you really shouldn't be leaving her money."

"Well you're the experienced one here, what do we do."

"You're really overrating my experience. What usually happens in this situation is Leonard brings up 'the talk' and I change the subject."

"How?"

"Usually taking my shirt off does the trick."

"Well your shirt is still on. Does that mean we're having 'the talk?'"

"I guess we kind of have to don't we?"

"I suppose so."

"Well, no point in dancing around," she says anxiously, "Sheldon do you love me?"

"Even I know it's a bit soon to be throwing around the 'L' word."

"Is it really? Because we spend all of our time together. We like a lot of the same things and we know each other better than anyone. You buy most of my meals and I do most of your laundry. We've even been sharing a gigantic secret. Sheldon, aside from the lack of sex, I've basically been your girlfriend for months."

"The lack of sex seems to be a pretty big oversight on your part. Are you really willing to have a sexless relationship?"

"Do you have man parts?"

"Excuse me?"

"Do you have man parts? You know, between your legs."

"Well yes-"

"Good, because I have girl parts."

"I don't know how either of them work, at least in this context."

"Sheldon for now, all you need to know is this: Did you like kissing me last night?"

"I... yes... I did."

"Good," she says before giving him a quick peck, "then we can figure out the rest later."

"So you really want to be my girlfriend?"

"Would you like to have me as a girlfriend?"

"Yes, I would."

"Then there's your answer. Now come on, we need to get you cleaned up and back home before the guys suspect anything."

* * *

"Leonard don't you think Sheldon would be mad if he knew we were looking through his room," Howard asks.

"Sheldon would be mad if he thought we were looking through his comic books, now shut up and look for something incriminating."

"Incriminating? What do you think he is some kind of serial killer."

"We can't rule it out," Raj adds a bit too sincerely.

"I think you guys are just overreacting. Since when is anything Sheldon does weird."

"Since he stopped acting so damn weird. Seriously Howard how do you not see it? He's been so quiet, he never insults us anymore. And what the hell is he always doing with Penny?"

"Wouldn't that be a question for Penny?"

"Umm... guys?" Raj says in disbelief.

"I've tried talking to her! She won't give me a straight answer!"

"Maybe that's because she doesn't want you to know! Maybe this is something we shouldn't know."

"Guys?"

"With Sheldon? I don't buy it. He's hiding something and if she's in on whatever it is then it can't be that bad."

"I wouldn't be so sure about that," Raj says, raising his voice to finally get their attention, "unless you have a logical explanation for Iron Man's helmet being in Sheldon's closet."

"Wait... what?"

"That... that can't be."

"Just look at it! It doesn't get much more authentic than this!"

"But... but Sheldon?"

"He would be the only one who could build it..."

"It would explain where he's been going at night..."

"Where does Penny fit into all of this?"

"I think we have a bigger problem," Howard observes, "didn't we watch Iron Man get caught in a fiery explosion last night?"

Looks of horror adorned their faces.

"Leonard," Raj asks cautiously, "do you know where Sheldon is?"

"He... he hasn't been home since yesterday. He came home from work, dropped his stuff off and went to Penny's, but he always comes home at night."

"So where has he been all day?"

"I haven't seen him."

"You don't think..."

All three leapt up and ran to Penny's door. Leonard knocked frantically.

"Penny? Penny it's us open up."

She opened the door casually to find three sweaty men looking at her desperately.

"We've been over this guys just because it tires _you_ out doesn't make Wii Bowling a workout."

"Penny have you seen Sheldon?"

"He's right here," Sheldon announces as he walks out of the bathroom.

"Sheldon why are you wearing that bandage on your head?"

"And how do you explain this?" Leonard asked, presented the helmet. Sheldon looked panicked. Penny jumped in.

"Just what are you implying Leonard?"

"Well, Sheldon's never home, he's constantly limping, he has a giant bandage on his forehead and another on his arm and we just found Iron Man's helmet in his closet so you can do the freaking math."

"You were in my room?" Sheldon asks.

"Yea but-"

"People can't be in my room!"

"Is that really the point right now?"

"Well Leonard since you seem to be accusing Sheldon of something you have no actual evidence of I'd say yes, it is."

"No actual evidence? WE HAVE HIS FREAKING HELMET!"

"So do millions of other people! Do you know how many replicas Disney has made because of this? They're everywhere, you can get them at YOUR comic book store."

"That still doesn't explain the bandages, or what you two have been doing together all of this time."

"I-"

"No Sheldon," Penny interjects, "it's ok, we can tell them."

She slowly walks over to him and grabs his hand.

"Guys... Sheldon and I are dating."

If their jaws dropped when they thought he was Iron Man, they flat out fell off when they heard this.

"Oh come on that's BS!"

"How do you expect us to believe that?"

"It's true! We've been together for awhile now and he's been spending his time with me because that's what couples do. He stayed here last night because we were having sex, and the bandages are from two separate bedroom injuries. He slammed his head on the headboard of the bed, and he cut his arm while trying to cut the bandage for his head. There are plenty of other bruises, but those are private. Sheldon happens to be very injury prone in bed because he still doesn't really know what he's doing!"

"Hey!" He responds, only to be silenced by one of her glares.

"Now, if you'll excuse us, don't you think you've intruded on our lives enough for one evening?"

"You realize how ridiculous all of that sounds right? How are we supposed to believe it?"

"I can prove to you that we had sex last night!" Sheldon declares, "just follow me!"

To which they cautiously allow him to lead the way into Penny's bedroom. He points at Penny's bed and shouts "see!"

"What are we supposed to be looking at?"

"Penny's bed!"

"What about it?"

"It's perfectly made! Leonard you've spent plenty of time in Penny's bedroom, have you EVER once seen her make her bed?"

"No..."

"Therefore it stands to reason that I made it. If I hadn't slept here last night and I wasn't planning on sleeping here tonight, why would I have bothered to make the bed at all?"

"He's got a point dude."

"Yea, it's starting to seem like they might just be sleeping together."

Leonard sighed, defeated.

"Fine, I guess we'll give you too some privacy. Sorry about this. I can't believe we thought you were actually a super hero."

Penny smiles as the guys leave.

"You're getting better at acting innocent."

"I have an... acceptable teacher."

"Just acceptable?"

"Great wouldn't be working at the Cheesecake Factory now would it?"

To which she punches him in the arm.

"Jerk. And you made my bed?"

"Well, you weren't gonna do it!"

"I'd be madder if it didn't just save our asses."

"Speaking of which, I have some work to do on the replacement suit."

"Replacement?"

"Well the old one is starting to look obsolete after last night."

* * *

Penny would prefer a less... catastrophic... start to her new relationship.

Typically, they follow the same pattern. Sheldon takes her out. The Mandarin makes a threat on TV. Sheldon leaves in his beaten up excuse for a suit. Sheldon returns bruised and exhausted.

"How many times has this happened?"

"Fifth time this month."

"Do you think it's a coincidence that he keeps doing this on our date nights?"

"I could care less," Sheldon shrugged.

"You realize he almost killed you."

"He won't beat me the same way twice. Besides, I've made some improvements since our first fight."

"Yet you always come home in worse shape than when you left."

"Well Penny, when one spends his evenings fighting crime one can expect a little bit of damage to one's health."

"That's not condescending at all."

"Sarcasm?"

"That's an easy one even for you."

* * *

"Shelly has a WHAT?"

"A girlfriend Mrs. Cooper. Sheldon has a girlfriend."

"You mean like a real one? Not like that funny Amy girl?"

"Nope. It's actually Penny."

"Penny? As in, girl next door Penny?"

"That's right."

"But honey I thought she was with you?"

"That was a long time ago. I was actually hoping you might be able to answer a few questions about all of this. He's been... secretive about whatever they're doing."

"Sorry dear but Shelly hasn't told me anything."

"Ok, thanks Mrs. Cooper, I'll let you know if he tells me anything more."

* * *

"So how are things between you two?" Leonard asks Penny at the bar.

"Great, never better."

"You know he hasn't talked to his mother yet right?"

"We've been taking things slow."

"Yet you're having sex constantly enough for him to be hurt on a daily basis?"

"Yes Leonard, we have an odd relationship. Are you happy?"

"I'm just saying all of this sounds weird."

"Not the Iron Man thing again."

"Yes Penny, the Iron Man thing again."

But before they can continue, two police officers come up to the bar.

"Excuse me, we're looking for a waitress named Penny."

"Yes that's me."

"We're going to need you to come with us."

"What? Why?"

"I'm afraid we can't tell you that."

"Well then I'm not going with you."

"We believe your life is in danger."

"Really? And why is that."

"We have reason to believe that The Mandarin wants to kill you."

"What?" Leonard asks incredulously.

"Hang on let me call my boyfriend."

"I'm sorry but we really need to go now."

"I'm sorry, but I'm not going anywhere until I can call my boyfriend," this time she emphasizes the last word while looking at Leonard, hoping he'll get the hint. She doesn't trust these guys.

"Hey if she says she needs to call her boyfriend then let her call-"

One of the police officers knocks Leonard off of his seat. The other grabs Penny.

"Help! Let me go!"

He drags her out of the restaurant as the patrons look on silently. They throw her in the back of their truck and drive off.

* * *

"Shit why isn't he answering his phone?" Leonard thinks to himself as he drives home. He arrives at the building and races upstairs.

"Sheldon? Sheldon are you here?"

"Yes?"

"Sheldon two cops just dragged Penny out of the Cheesecake Factory. They said something about The Mandarin."

"What?"

"Have you heard from her?"

"Hang on."

He heads over to her apartment.

Knock knock knock.

"Penny?"

Knock knock knock.

"Penny?"

Knock knock knock.

"Penny?"

No response. He decides to look inside. Nobody's there. On her couch sits USB with a note that reads "play me." He pops it into her computer. Suddenly a man in green robes appears on screen.

"Mr. Cooper! Only one lesson remains. I intend to finish this tonight. Now as you can see," he says as the camera pans back, "I have your lovely lady friend in a rather precarious situation. As indicated on the clocks in the background, this is live. If you are not at my compound in the next half hour, I will put a bullet in her head. The address is on the USB you are currently using. Who walks out of here alive is entirely up to you. Good luck Mr. Cooper."

He needed a moment to catch his breath. Then, he began planning. A few minutes later, he went to Leonard.

"Leonard I need your help."

"With?"

"Penny. This is what I need you to do."

* * *

When Iron Man arrives he sees a fleet of police cars trailing behind him. Just as he'd asked Leonard to arrange. But when he lands outside of the compound The Mandarin's men do not attack him. They arrange a path for him.

"The master is waiting for you," one of them even has the nerve to say.

The Mandarin's chamber is predictably large. It is decorated with artifacts both Asian and Middle Eastern in nature. There's way too much green for Sheldon's taste.

"Mr. Cooper," The Mandarin offers politely, "you look well. Is that a new coat of paint?"

"Where's Penny."

"Right behind me," he gestures to the chair in which Penny is bound, "what happens next is entirely up to you."

"Go on."

"It's rather simple, really. I'm nothing if not merciful, and I'm not in the business of destroying innocent lives. Therefore I'm going to offer a choice: Do you want an empty life, or a meaningful death?"

"So you're saying you're going to kill me?"

"If that's what you choose, you can walk out of here if you choose. Just know that only one of you will survive the next," he takes a quick look at his watch, "six minutes. You see, there are several bombs rigged to explode and destroy this entire complex. If you try to interfere, I have seven men ready to trigger EMPs and render your suit useless. Then, they would ensure both of your continuing captivity here. However, they have been instructed to allow one of you to leave this building. Which one of you does is your choice."

Penny tries to speak out of her gag but nothing a few inaudible grunts escape.

"And what about you? You're going to die in the explosion aren't you?"

"Me? As soon as you make your choice, I will be leaving this room in favor of the bomb shelter underneath the building. If you try to stop me, then you both die. So Mr. Cooper, what's it going to be?"

"I think you know what I choose. Let Penny go."

"Very well," he snapped his fingers, and she was released. As two guards led her out of the building he could hear her beg him not to do this.

"I'm impressed Mr. Cooper. Perhaps heroes do exist. Or they did, because frankly you don't look like you'll last too much longer."

"Is she safely out of the building?"

"By now? I'd say so."

"And your guards: The ones with the EMPs?"

"All operating remotely. This blast is just for you."

"You've got that backwards."

With that Iron Man leapt forward and grabbed The Mandarin, acting so quickly that even if someone had triggered an EMP he'd be done before it reach him. In a flash of light, the Iron Man armor exploded and took the building down with it.

"Sheldon!" Penny shouted as a police officer held her back. She fell to her knees in tears, only roused by a large hand on her shoulder.

"Excuse me miss?" One of the police officers said, "a man named Leonard called us with this tip. He also gave us a message from someone named Sheldon for you."

This got her up.

"What? What did he say?"

"He said that you're the only one who can be in his room, whatever that means."

It took her a moment to put the pieces together.

"Take me home!"

* * *

She wasted no time as she ran up the stairs and into Sheldon's apartment. Leonard was waiting on the couch. As soon as he saw her he jumped up and hugged her.

"Thank God you're alright."

"Where's Sheldon?"

"He's in his room."

"What? How?"

"You'll have to ask him that."

When she walks in to find him wearing a pair of... well... the best description would be computer glasses... her first reaction isn't to hug him. She slaps him. Square across the face.

"How could you do that! I thought you were dead!"

"But I'm not dead."

"Not the point! How the hell did you survive?"

"I was never there."

"What?"

"The suit was there, but I wasn't. I was sitting safely on my bed. And you all mocked me when I tried to live my life out of this bedroom. Who's laughing now?"

"But... how did you... huh?"

"It's what I've been working on since the first Mandarin attack. It's a suit I can operate remotely."

"So you were here... but the suit was there... and you were still operating it?"

"Exactly."

This time, she hugs him.

"Don't ever do that to me again ok?"

"Penny I hardly think another super villain is going to pop up and-"

"No!" She interjected, "I don't care what villains there are, I don't care how many criminals pop up, you've done your part. I don't want you to risk your life again."

"But Penny I don't have to actually be-"

"No! Don't you see, as long as you keep doing this, as long as Iron Man's out there, people are going to keep coming for you. For us. I just can't stand the idea of you getting hurt. Please Sheldon, just stop this. For me."

"But you said that this is what heroes do."

"I did," she breathes, "but sometimes being a hero means taking care of the people who love you. Sometimes being a hero just means being a man."

"Ok," he sighs, "I'll do it."

She doesn't respond. She just kisses him. Nowadays he's actually competent enough to respond, even if he doesn't know how to take it any further. But that's ok. She can wait for him.

"Did you know that many biologists think that kissing stems from the tendency most often seen in birds of feeding one's young from mouth-to-mouth and-"

"Sheldon?"

"Yes Penny?"

"Sheldon you once told me that you subscribe to the many worlds theory in which there are an infinite number of Sheldons occupying an infinite number of worlds, correct?"

"Yes."

"Well then you agree that there's a world in which Sheldon doesn't ruin the moment by bringing up ridiculous 'fun facts?'"

"I suppose."

"Well, let's make sure that world is this one."

* * *

**Well, that's the story. Thanks so much to everyone for reading. I had a lot of fun writing this and it's really great to be back writing again. Honestly I haven't really written anything over the past several months, fics or otherwise. Now the ideas are starting to flow again and I'm enjoying it. I even have an idea for a sequel here, but I don't want to get carried away. For now, just once again, great to be back and thanks for reading.**


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